My Nici Monkey-Thank dearie :)

I have been looking around for this Nici Monkey for quite some time. My dearie got it for me and surprised me on Tuesday. I was so happy and wanna give her my kiss for the day.... I was feeling kinda depressed lately (work, health and some personal stuff) and this gift really brighten up my day... hahaha... thank dearie!

24 Oct 2008, 05:27pm

I was thrilled, shocked and a million other feelings I can’t put into words when i received this bouquet of roses from him............
Is it just the beginning of our route to our Happily ever after???

小女人

One of my "friend" sms me relatively recently to ask me out…

HIM:Hey, want to head out for drinks?
ME:Nope. Quite busy these day
HIM:Busy dating?
ME:Busy with a lot of programs.
HIM:I saw you with another guy the other day. Is he the ONE???

I didn’t bother to reply. Seriously, what was his point???
To see if I would go out with him despite having a significant party?
It’s not as if he haven’t got turned down enough by ME before.

For some unknown reasons, I felt abit of happiness and glee.(小女人 's feeling)
Like you know… I kinda ‘belong’ to someone in other people eyes. So satisfying, it’s like a kind of secure feeling ba. HAHA!

Song Recommendation for Oct 2008:The Longest Movie 最長的電影 By 周杰倫

我們的開始　是很長的電影
放映了三年　我票都還留著

冰上的芭蕾　腦海中還在旋轉
望著妳　慢慢忘記妳

＃朦朧的時間　我們溜了多遠
　冰刀劃的圈　圈起了誰改變
　如果再重來　會不會稍嫌狼狽
　愛是不是不開口才珍貴

＊再給我兩分鐘　讓我把記憶結成冰
　別融化了眼淚　妳妝都花了 要我怎麼記得
　祈禱你將我忘了吧 祈禱你將我忘了吧
　妳說妳會哭　不是因為在乎

Repeat ＃,＊,＊

Is this what you really want????

Is this what you really want?

How many times have you asked yourself this question till now?

Being taken for granted and being expected to know everything and anything..

Being taken for granted that you will and should know what to do when something happens..

Being taken for granted that you should not bother other people unless it is really required..

Being taken for granted that everything is part of the whole package..

Even thou you were never told about alot of issues during the initial stage..

Even thou you were never told about alot of things..

Even thou you are shocked..

Even thou you have never been trained in those aspects..

Even thou you know nuts about those stuffs..

Is this...

What you really want???

Are you...Really happy???

Part time:Aunt Agony

xxx called me up today.... Im surprised to receive her after some many years.... She was crying over the side of the phone. Im so worried abt her.... Our conversation are as follows:

xxx: Hello Sis, *weeping* *weeping*
Me: Hello, what's happen to you? Dont cry first.. Calm down and we can have a good talk...
xxx: I'm so confused.....
Me: hmmm... confused abt what?
xxx:.......
Me: R/s?
xxx: Ya lor, he will never marry me because i am not the type of wife he is looking for.
Me: huh? Y did he say that?
xxx: because i can't do simple housework properly, can't cook, we always quarrel over simple and minor stuff, difference in character etc..
Me:love can surpass "can't do simple housework properly, can't cook, we always quarrel over simple and minor stuff, difference in character etc". well, you can always learn too. nothing is impossible if both of you want to work this relationship out.
xxx: i was very sad upon hearing that. i don't know what i should do? what will you do if you were me?
Me: I'll ask myself what do I want in this relationship? do I ultimately want to marry him or do I just want a soul mate?
xxx: other problem is communication. i feel that i can't get communicate well with him. whenever we got an argument, he will definitely insist that i am wrong and he's right. and most of the time, i have to give in to him. i don't know why, but in the end i will still give in to him. maybe he don't love me as much as i love him. (Sound so familiar to me......)
Me: Don't you find such an emotionally driven and draining relationship tiring?
xxx: Of cos la... But what to do...
Me: well, if getting married eventually is a commitment you are seeking in a bf, I guess you know what should be your next course of action. Don't wait anymore for a relationship that doesn't bear fruit. Don't waste your youth. You deserve to have somebody who loves u as much as u love him. (My dearie shared this with me! Thank:))
xxx: Thank Sis, i know what to do le... I feel better le...
Me: Np:) ...........................................

Only time will tell…

Quote by someone:

"if a relationship is based on infatuation, love or just plain lust."
"if a relationship is stemmed from love, happiness or desperation."

I had went through negligible relationships that are based on lust, and some infatuation.
I had went ahead to indulge in a relationship because I love… or because he makes me happy. I’ve had a lot of relationships and believed only time will tell...................

.....................

You know you’ve got issues when almost every guy you’ve dated,
at one point or the other all end up saying, "I can’t mind read."
And if u’re lucky (or not so lucky in this instance) enough that the guy’s a sensitive one,
he would end up saying too that, "You keep it inside and don’t talk about it anymore."

"Someone"

It’s easy to have happy moments with someone, but it is finding someone who would work out the not so happy moments that is the most crucial thing in a relationship.

Have I found that someone in my life??? ...........................................

Deep Though

I have a supportive caring family,
a handful of people who I know are always there,
a nice enjoyable job,
a simple laid back life.
But why do I still feel so lost sometimes…
Why do I constantly feel that I’m not enough for myself?
Did I missed out something in my life?

Freedom

I am not submissive to my other half and my parents because I totally don’t like being controlled.It’s TWO very different story, deciding to submit or being told to do it. Recently my "unknown" had been calling me on a daily basis, smsing me on a hourly basis and bugging me at […] :(

嗨…

身为一个大/小女人(?)，我坚持认为事业是应该让男人来打拼的。
一个大男人在外打拼一番事业，为的就是要有更美好舒适的未来。
因为如此，我不会想要耽误一个男人的事业发展。
我本身始终能接受默默地在背后支持着一个自己爱的人。
因为陪伴着自己爱的男人共度一生就象是我自己的使命。

我曾经以为在一个男人背后默默的等待是一件相当容易的事。
但直到我轻身体会到一个人被透明地抛在后头时，我才发现其实这一点都不容易。
无言的呵护，无期限的等待，无承诺的未来…
有多少人能无条件的做到这些呢？
我曾经因为如此局面而发现原来爱情并不是伟大的。
爱情是自私的。
因为我们始终都想得到回报 － 对方的爱。
所为 once bitten, twice shy… 我已学会了不牺牲自己。
一切看得开一点，一切过得少忧虑一点，一切也走得潇洒一点.

说真的，我已好久未轰轰烈烈地热恋一番了.
多少也或许已忘了要怎么维护一段感情.
对自己太没信心，所以不敢想于太多… 要求太多… 只想始终能得到快乐。
我想我该也算是个为快乐而活的大/小女人吧…

P/S: 其实写到这里，我突然有一股冲动想把这网上日记给关了。总觉得自己因为这儿，而把 ‘自己’ 呈现在一个不怎么好的灯光下。嗨…

Lappy Down!!!

My lappy was down and sent for 2 weeks repairs and upgrading! I'm so handicap w/o my lappy.

I finally sat myself down with my newly rebooted & upgraded lappy and realise my biggest, most important, most personal folder in my laptop is missing!

I spend 15mins frantically searching and I’m now convinced it’s really gone…

I lost:
All my past work project portfolios and resumes.
All my cherished messages and conversation logs I had kept and encrypted.
All my video files. (except for the unimportant ones I kept in a separate folder)
All my personal pictures I had stored separately from the rest.
If I can use only 1 word now to describe my current feelings,the word would be ‘Devastated‘
I swear henceforth never to upgrade or do any changes to my lappy.
It’s not anybody’s fault but my own. Now everything new… I not familiar with some of the softwares.I can’t find CDs of my old programs I use, and lost all my important files.

I hate changes.
I farking hate changes.
It sucks feeling the tears welling up in my eyes.
$#&$^#@% the people who say 旧的不去，新的不来。